A Girl of High Morals

Bible Teacher: Have you ever had someone do bad to you and then they said they were sorry? You forgave them, and then they did the same thing again?

Student (not her real name): Yes! My sister hits me and says "sorry" so I forgive her, and then she hits me again!

Teacher: (with a twinkle in his eye) Hmm... I guess an important question is "Do you retaliate?"
Student: Well, yes, sometimes... but I always wait till I'm done hitting her before I say "Sorry."

Knocked Silly

Mike had clobbered Pete (not their real names) on the head with a science book (not the real implement). Now both boys sat in my office making sure the appropriate apologies were made and the friendship restored.

Me: Mike your head isn't hurt? You don't have a head ache? You're not angry with Mike?"

Pete: Yeah... I mean "No." My head doesn't hurt and I'm not angry with Mike.

Mike: Sorry I hit you on the head. I thought you were laughing at me.

Pete: Yeah, well I was, but I said, "I was only joking."

Mike: Oh, I didn't hear that part.

Pete: Yeah, that's okay. It didn't hurt that much.

Me: So... you guys are cool with each other?

Both: Yeah, we're fine.

Me: ...and is there anything else we need to deal with?

Both: Uh... no.

Me: Okay, Pete, you can go back to class.

Pete exited with one last handshake with Mike who'd attacked him. As soon as Pete was out the door, Mike turned to me with a shocked expression and wide eyes.

Mike: I must have seriously injured him; he's never been that nice!

Mike was suspended according to our policy dealing with physical aggression, but he had shown sincere remorse and a good sense of humor.
(Published with "Mike's" permission.)

The Innocent One

We're in the dining commons and the second grader stands in front of me saying I'm the best principal he's ever had. I thought I was the only principal he'd ever had, but no, he tells me had another principal when he was "just a little kid."

"She was SO MEAN!" His eyes are bugging out. "She'd lock me in the dungeon where there were spiders forever!"

"Well, that sounds pretty mean, alright," I commiserate.

"One day I got sent to her office because I was crying. And when I got back, someone had lit my desk on fire!" He watches to see that I'm "getting it." Then he continues, "And there was a note on my desk that said, "Ha! Ha!" That's the day I got kicked out!"

Early Morning Funny

Opal watches our students who arrive early for school. As the many students jostled in the hallway last week, stowing books and gathering supplies for the day, Opal needed to get one boy's attention.

The problem is that two brothers, John and Jacob, are in the same classroom and she used the wrong name first. The cadence of her correction was perfect to allow John-Travis, a third boy in the same classroom, to sing a happy little joke. Here's how it went:

Opal: (calling down the hall) John!... Jacob!

John-Travis: (humming the "Jingleheimer Schmidt" part, then bursts into...) That's my name, too!

It happened fast, and John-Travis's wit and excellent timing made it funny!